Outlander, Episode 1, Live Chat

So we’re gonna try to do this live chat for this week because summer is almost over, and why not? This is probably more for our own amusement than providing any informative or useful information about the show, but our amusement is super important to us, so there’s that. Enjoy! 🙂

Chat Transcript: 

T: So excited for probably incorrect Scottish historical things!!

Maura: Ok. I am super excited about this show. It combines historical romance with time travel. Two of my favorite things!

Maura: Beautiful scenery!

Maura: I also don’t have a vase. I have the metaphorical vase, but an actual vase, not so much. The one time I got flowers I put them in a glass.

T: She’s so pretty, I think I hate her.

Maura: John’s first impression is that this doesn’t look terrible.

T: Quick! Google more about Sassenach!

Maura: She’s like a brunette Cate Blanchett. She’s really lovely.

T: Oh, yeah, Cate Blanchett, good comparison.

T: I like her dude, but you can tell by the look of him that he’s just not going to measure up.

Maura: Sacrificing animals for a saint? Is that a real thing?

T: Did you watch Vikings? They sacrificed humans!

Maura: I’m familiar with the blood on the door on Passover

Maura: Jerks.

Maura: I’m glad this isn’t about Vikings.

T: Yeah, I’ve heard that too. Ha, they were super hot jerks.

T: He’s so cutely British.

T: I miss old clothes.

Maura: Yeah, he’s a bit of a dork, but in an attractive way.

Maura: What a strange, heartbreaking situation. They would be strangers after 5 years.

T: Yeah, it’s a wonder anyone stayed together during the wars.

Maura: People were way classier back in the day. They would be horrified by faded yoga pants.

T: They really were, I’d be satisfied with the return of formal hats.

T: And shoes with buckles.

Maura: Dresses and suits. I should wear more dresses.

Maura: Ooh, he was a spy boss. Hot.

T: Me too, but I hate the feeling of skin on skin.

T: Yeah, his voice is deep and grumbly as well.

Maura: Eh, it’s a bit nasal

T: Look at his jauntily-angled hat!

T: She’s way into the sexy sex.

Maura: Ooh, are they going to do it in the dungeon?

T: Scandalous!

Maura: She just knocked that hat right off.

Maura: Whoa!

T: Good grief, no wonder this is paid cable.

Maura: John likes her

T: No wonder she stayed with him through the war!

T: Haha, of course!

Maura: I hope she put her underpants back on to visit the vicar.

T: Who knows with her?

T: I want someone to read my tea leaves.

Maura: I’ve read tea leaves before, but I don’t remember exactly how

T: Ha! Even that lady knows she likes to have a good time

Maura: 🙂

T: Mysteries!

Maura: Ooh, her’s is forked! What could it mean?!

T: I want more trench coats too.

T: I love thunderstorms.

Maura: I got a trench coat. Tan to match the dog. I feel like an old timey newspaper reporter in it.

Maura: ooh! Pretty nightgown!

T: Do you watch New Girl? I like the episode where Nick is obsessed with wearing a woman’s trench coat

Maura: Yes!! I love so much that he just doesn’t care

T: See! Being sexual as a woman means you’re a whore!

T: It’s the worst!

T: Men are the pits

Maura: Ugh. Did HE cheat? Jerk.

Maura: Oh, man. John is missing the boobs. He just went to get a beer.

T: I can pause it whenever

Maura: I am not a fan of hairless man chests.

T: It’s kind of weird. Yeah, I like hair.

T: Unless you’re a swimmer i guess

Maura: Creepy. I don’t dig it.

T: Yeah, not my fave

Maura: Ok, he’s back.

Maura: Holy crap. How early did they get up?

T: I remember thinking that the book felt dark, this certainly captures that feeling.

T: They were probably wired after all the sex

T: I wish I were a witch

Maura: I do really like all of the visuals of this show. It’s a very pretty show to watch.

Maura: Yeah, hose witches are awesome

Maura: Those, not hose

T: I gotcha

T: Yeah, I love her scarf now

Maura: Ooh, she’s wearing trousers. How daring.

T: Very Betty Draper from Mad Men

T: This just seems altogether unwise

Maura: Don’t pick flowers around magic pagan stones! That’s just common sense

Maura: She left her shawl. Also unwise. What if it gets chilly?

T: Good tips to remember when we go back in time

Maura: Frank looks skeezy back in time

T: Yeah, he does

Maura: Ouch.

T: Haha, smells

T: I always think about that in historicals

Maura: Me too! I hate people smells!

Maura: I am so glad he doesn’t hold with rape.

T: Yeah, I hate it when they do that. Women had it bad then, we get it

Maura: So I guess that dude’s our hero?

Maura: He seems nice. Glad he doesn’t have long hair. I am not a fan of long hair on men

T: Yeah, his accent already bothers me. He sounds like a horse

Maura: Ha! A horse

T: I liked long hair on Eric in True Blood and Riggins from Friday Night Lights, but that’s all

T: His face is so square

T: and chiseled

Maura: She’s going to save them from an ambush! She’s like a useful witch

Maura: It totally sucks that she was just dropped right into another war. Hasn’t she had enough?

Maura: She’s going to get blood on her dress riding with him like that

T: Yeah, for real, at least send her to the beach

T: White was a bad color choice for going back in time as well

Maura: How do they ride in the dark like that? It’s dark. I can’t see in the dark

T: Good point

Maura: This lot has nothing sterile, for sure.

T: They’re savages

T: Black Jack Randall! Ha!

Maura: Hm. Not much of an ending.

Maura: But overall, I really enjoyed it.

Maura: Not sure about our hero, but I like the heroine.

T: Yeah, the promise of more almost rape isn’t the greatest plot teaser

Maura: True that.

T: I thought it was interesting though

Maura: I really liked the “modern” part. I hope there will be more of that era.

Maura: I hope they get her some awesome period-appropriate clothing.

T: Yeah, the modern was nice

T: I don’t want showerless scenes the whole time

T: I wonder if she’ll meet a version of her husband in every time or if she just goes back to the same time every time.

Maura: I know. I hate watching greasy people who smell bad

Maura: Ok. Definitely going to watch the next one!

T: I hate when modern medicine can fix a problem.

T: Okay, sounds good! Toodles!

Maura: Night!




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